I CAN’T DO THIS LORD
January 22, 2021
Prayer: Father, please help me not to let my pride prevent me from understanding the balance between your leading and my following. Amen.
Scripture: Heb 12:1 Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. (NIV)
The halfway point of the London Marathon is on Tower Bridge. When I reached there, I was still feeling strong and running a respectable time. A few miles later it happened; ‘the wall.’ You may have heard of ‘the wall,’ I certainly had and now I was discovering what it was all about. In the space of about half a mile I went from thinking ‘I’ve got this in the bag’ to ‘put me in a bag.’ Fatigue, pain and the sheer impossibility of what I was attempting were all a part of the wall I had hit. At the same time so were the accusations, ‘You should have done this ten years ago,’ ‘You haven’t trained enough,’ ‘A man dressed in a rhino costume has just passed you,’ ‘Graham, you are just not good enough!’
Support from the crowds was still high, but it wasn’t enough. I needed more. Now, I don’t want to over-spiritualise this, it was just a long run after all, but I reasoned, God had taken me through everything else, He can take me through this. He hasn’t fashioned me to be someone who gives up and so I need to find a legitimate and workable strategy to enable me to continue and complete this.
Everywhere I looked at this point were first aiders and race volunteers who were helping people like me. It wasn’t pride but I knew if I stopped for help I would not get going again. So I slowed down and started to do what had earlier on been unthinkable; I started walking.
Sometimes in life we need to walk. Pride needs to be got over, goals need to be adjusted and priorities sorted in order to slow down and walk. We might be highly motivated, beautifully honed and rigorously trained, but when we have given all we can, there comes a point when we say, “Ok, I can’t keep this pace up, but I can manage a slower pace.”
This can attack our sense of personal achievement big time. It isn’t a problem for everyone but it is for most, including me and possibly including you. Christian teachers as a breed, I have discovered from personal experience, are dedicated, caring, enthusiastic, effective and often stubborn. We can adopt a mind-set that views any alteration to our plan as a failure and this can be so unhelpful to us. Too many good servants of God are hitting a ‘wall’ in teaching and the result can take a heavy toll emotionally, mentally, physical or spiritually.
Not only is it unhelpful, it is a lie. A change of plan is not a failure, it is a change of plan. A change of pace is not a disgrace, it is usually a necessary strategy to enable us to overcome what is in front of us and still pursue our desire.
Adapted from the book ‘To Infinity and Turn Left: Exploring God’s Purpose for Christian Teachers’ by Graham Coyle, available from Amazon. [email protected]
This message was truly helpful for me. I could relate, as I also ran track from elementary school through college. Since I was a sprinter, in life I had a tendency to keep a fast pace in much of what I do. As I got older, and my body started to change, slowing down became a necessity, if for no other reason but to catch my breath and enjoy the scenery.
Lately, I’m experiencing a different kind of failure. At work, I’ve been bullied, and went to counseling to discover what it was about me that deserved such treatment during a pandemic. So many people are hurting and struggling. We are all trying our best to pivot from the usual instructional and leadership practices in education, to the new online platforms, distance learning, and distance meetings. My marriage hit a cross roads and I started to walk out. My finances are strained and I just wanted to jump off of a bridge. But some how, the peace of God continues to envelop me. I can honestly say that during the 2021 Presidential Inauguration, I was filled with tears of joy. For so long, the troubles in this nation were spilling over in people’s homes, places of work, communities, and neighborhood. I don’t think people were really conscious of the impact the negativity in this country and the COVID crisis was really having on our personal lives. There was such a subtle adoption of rudeness and nastiness to each other as being normal. Well, it’s not normal. It’s not how God would have us to treat one another. And to be on the receiving end of similar behavior at home and at work, was unacceptable to me. I had to take a stand, and while it may put ever getting a promotion in jeopardy, I need to be able to sleep at night in peace. To my husband and to my boss, I made it quite clear what I will accept and what I will not. At home it was much easier to set boundaries. At work, it now involves the Human Resources Department. The case has been in investigation since July.
While I believe that prayer can change things, I know that it’s now always easy to walk through the “fire” of life. I also believe in intercessory prayer and would ask that you life me up.
Thank you, and be blessed.
Just this morning I asked myself, “Why can’t I get anything right?” A Zoom class had failed. I let down an administrator. The work I had been doing to prepare for an exciting move in our PLC was halted. I needed to hear the truth and not the lies the enemy has been feeding me. This devotional was timely and encouraging.
I loved this devotional. It was exactly what I needed to read today. Pivots in life are not failure. Adjustments, refinements, even U-turns can be Holy Spirit directed. Thank you!
This has been an encouragement for me especially with the diagnosis of Coved and not feeling well. Thank you.